Tonight -- Viva Cantina -- Murphy's Flaw -- No audience -- Be part of it!

Murphy's Flaw

is pleased to present

An evening with nobody in particular

Singing

Songs We've Never Rehearsed

Played in

Keys We Seldom Use

On

Instruments that are Probably Not in Tune

in a 

Nearly-Empty Mexican Restaurant

(7:30 p.m. Tonight, Viva Cantina, 900 Riverside Blvd., Burbank CA)

Appearing (in order of finding a parking spot)

Dee Farnsworth (mando/vocals)

John Bryan (banjo/guitar/vocals)

Pete Blackwelder (fiddle)

Shaun Garrity (mando, mandola, guitar)

Paul Dorn (bass/vocals)

Jarrett Lesko (mando/guitar/vocals)

Uli Sinn (Dobro/SuperSlider)

Margee Schubert

Cody Bryant

JoEllen Doering

Earl Scruggs

Bela Fleck

Tommy Emmanuel

David Grisman

Tony Rice

Sam Bush

Emmylou Harris

The Infamous Stringdusters

Ernst and Young

Frick and Frack

Smart and Final

The Punch Brothers featuring Chris Thile

The Board of British Petroleum featuring Tony Hayward

The non-singing waiters of Viva Cantina

Col. Sanders and "The Chicken-Pluckers"

Gov. Mark Sanford and "The Appalachan Trail"

Be there - take up space - order Margaritas - leave us tips!

We Don't Need no Stinkin' Audience!

First of all, Murphys Flaw,* constantly trying to better its string of third-place finishes at Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest, was overly exuberant and mistakenly snagged SECOND PLACE this year.

A tragic first-place finish was averted at the last minute by the insanely talented kids of the Murphy Family Band. We thank them for their valor.

Now that the crowds are gone and the TV trucks have packed up and headed to their next assignments, it's back down to earth for the Flaw, and with it the monthly Flaw gigs at Viva Cantina next to the horse stables at the edge of Burbank. We think we got the gig because we add so much to the, uh, atmosphere.

Next one is Monday, June 10, 2010. From, oh, 7:30-ish until we run out of material; in other words, 7:45 p.m.

A couple of members had the good sense to be out of town, so we invited all our friends to stage an impromptu on-stage jam at Viva Cantina. Some of them may actually show up, pushing the performance all the way to 8 p.m.

Admission is free, but tips will be collected. If that doesn't keep the attendance down, we don't know what will.

The Flaw

*(official motto: "it sounded better at rehearsal")

(unofficial motto: "We had a rehearsal?")

Murphy's Flaw is comfortable playing to empty rooms.

Important Career Advice

Just a Short Note....

What? 

The Flaw doesn't write no stinkin' short notes. Short notes are for refrigerator magnets

Here, chew on this:

http://www.johnbullard.com/graphics/vintageguitar2005.pdf

Oh, you want some Wikipedia, do you?

Had enough? All right.

==========================

Here's the news:

The Flaw will accidently appear at Viva Fresh, Burbank,

at 8 p.m.tonight, Monday May 10, to provide Kentucky-Mex Bluegrass background music while you knock down those incredible $2.50 margaritas.

Before Margaritas

After about the fourth margarita, the magic sets in, and the Flaw a) looks MARVELOUS and b) becomes the best-sounding bluegrass band you've ever heard. In or out of Nashville. We've included some visual aids, below

No admission, tips gratefully accepted (we're not afraid to beg).

Then the 2010 Victory Tour continues on Sunday, May 16 when the Flaw competes at the 50th Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest at Paramount Ranch just a short cattle-drive from Agoura Hills.

We'll be on around the lunch break. So you can pack in a nutritious lunch of Kettle-Korn and settle in for Contestant No. 57, which is us.

Let's all say it together: C O N T E S T A N T  5 7.

Excellent. There will be no margaritas at Topanga, so you'd better stock up tonight at Viva Fresh.

After Margaritas

The Flaw

Murphy's Flaw Infomercial for Coffee Gallery Backstage

Are you fed up with Pop-Country music??

Are you disappointed with properly tuned banjos?

Would you like to get a caffeine high and higher decibel level?

Hello. My name's Bluegrass Bill. I'm vice-president of sales for Murphy's Flaw.

If you're looking for off-the-wall bluegrass music then listen very carefully because I'm going to
reveal the secrets of Flawed Bluegrass Listening.

Let's talk about the benefits of Murphy's Flaw ...

• It's non-toxic to pet rocks;
• It's what makes silence golden;
• It shrinks goiters instantly.
                          
Here's what one of our listeners said in a recent e-mail to us:

"How do you people stand yourselves?"

And here's what another one of our listeners said:

"Hearing the Flaw makes me cry like a little girl."

You too can abandon all class and go over to the Flawed Side!

Go ahead. If you want to eliminate musical taste, and enjoy the benefits of cacophony,  dizziness,  and  goiter
reduction, then make sure you reserve your ticket within the next 10 minutes.

Murphy's Flaw at Coffee Gallery Backstage

• • • with roots-music trio The Absentees • • •

2029 N. Lake Ave.
Altadena, CA 91001


Sunday, May 2, 2010, at 8 p.m.
$15 at the door. To go through the door may be extra; see Bob.
Reservations suggested: Call (626) 794-2424


Murphy's Flaw: "Gee, Your Banjo Smells Terrific!"

(Thanks to the Infomercial Script Generator)

Sharing the Stage at the Festival of Books

Dear Patrons of the Arts,

The folks at the Los Angeles Times have inexplicably invited Murphy's Flaw to appear on the Festival of Books Etc. Stage for a fourth year.

We'll be on from 3 to 4 p.m. and at least 45 minutes of that will be spent tuning the banjo. But it's a solid entertainment value nonetheless, considering that it's free.

We jumped at this chance because 1) we don't get to hang with people who read books that often, being a Marvel Comics kind of band, and 2) it allows us to use one of the great chestnuts of showbiz hucksterism: "shared the stage with."

As in: "Murphy's Flaw recently appeared at the Los Angeles Times Festival of books where they shared the stage with the L.A. Opera."

And we will, you snobbish non-believers. L.A. Opera will be on at noon; we'll be on at 3 p.m. Same stage, though -- take that!

And it gets better: 

Murphy's Flaw is proud to be sharing the festival with Folk and Country Music Legends Peter Yarrow (Target Children's Stage, noon) and Trisha Yearwood (Cooking stage, 2 p.m.) We actually reached out to both, trying to get them to join the Flaw on the Etc. stage. No response. Curious....maybe the emails are slow. 

But the real outrage is this: Over at the Health and Wellness Stage is the Sun Protection Zone's Sun Safety Styles Fashion Show. They could have used some background music; all fashion shows need background music.

The Flaw, after all, was willing to share the stage.

---------------------

Next gigs:

• Sunday, April 25, 3-4 p.m.: Los Angeles Times Festival of Books Etc. Stage

• Sunday, May 2, 8 p.m., Coffee Gallery Backstage, Altadena ($15, reservations at (626) 794-2424)

• Monday, May 10, 7:30 p.m.: Viva Fresh Mexican Restaurant, 900 West Riverside Drive, Burbank.

• Sunday, May 16: 50th annual Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest, Paramount Ranch, Agoura Hills.

April Foolishness at VivaFresh, Cafe 322, LATimes Fest of Books

So we were sitting around, trying to come up with a list of excuses not to practice.

We'd gotten up to No. 396 (Large Hadron Collider in operation in Switzerland, throws banjos out of tune worldwide), and when we weren't looking, our April calendar filled up with gigs.

"Tell us more," we hear you yearning....

Oh, all right...

• Monday, April 5, Viva Fresh, Burbank: The inaugural Bluegrass Monday at Viva Fresh Mexican Restaurant in Burbank, rumored to have the best fajitas in town. Bluegrass at a Mexican Restaurant? Of course, haven't you ever heard of Kentucky-Mex cuisine? There will be other bands each Monday of the month, and they no doubt will raise the standards  musically. The Flaw, on the other hand, will lower them precipitously every first Monday. It's kind of like a bluegrass roller coaster; you may want to raise both arms and yell, "Whee!"

• Wednesday, April 7, Cafe 322, Sierra Madre: Another inauguration, and we have nothing to wear: Cafe 322  will be the location for the first monthly "Who Left the Barn Door Open?" bluegrass night. The project is guided by Paul Dorn, bass player extraordinaire for about 30 bands on two continents (including Switzerland's "Large Hadron Collider Mountain Boys"). Italian food this time, splendidly prepared and purveyed. Unfortunately, the cuisine will have to contend with the Flawed atmosphere. But our band's attitude is if you don't have at least a few patrons running for the restrooms, you're not doing your job. Good bands always involve their audiences in the performance. Cafe 322

• Sunday, April 25, L.A. Times Festival of books, Westwood: Inexplicably, the Flaw has been invited back to the Etc. Stage at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. This must be the fifth year, and you'd think they'd learn by now. Nonetheless, we're on from 3-4 p.m. You'll not want to miss it because one of these years it will be the Flaw's Farewell Performance. You can find Festival of Books information here. Tickets are free and with the Flaw you always get your money's worth.

It gets even worse in May with a return to the Coffee Gallery Backstage at 8 p.m. Sunday, May 2. You've been warned; more about that later.

As always, you'll want to jot all these dates on a piece of paper and staple it to someone you love.

See you Monday, Wednesday or April 25, or all three if you want to earn your Flawed Groupie Merit Badge.

The Flaw

Flying Under the Radar at the Wisteria Festival

We have now had a chance to check out Sunday's Wisteria Festival schedule which is here.

We are not on it.

Instead, there is another bluegrass band listed.

We realize this is confusing for our legions of lukewarm fans of mediocre bluegrass music, so we have put out a hit contract on the other band (which we admire greatly, but this is not personal) and with them out of the way will be playing:

3-5 p.m. Sunday Kirsten Square Stage. This is a triangular block at the corner of Sierra Madre Blvd. and N Baldwin Ave. in downtown Sierra Madre.

You will see the now-familiar Murphy's Flaw banner, the all-important tip jar. And you will hear, potentially, a lot of dead air because we don't think we have enough material to play from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

But we are ever-resourceful, so you may expect to hear:

* Nine Pound Hammer
-- Eight-Pound Hammer
-- Seven-Pound Hammer
-- Six-Pound Hammer
-- Five-Pound Hammer
-- Four-Pound Hammer

* Banks of the Ohio
-- Savings and Loans of Mississippi
-- Credit Unions of Kansas

* Bury Me Beneath the Willow
-- Encrypt Me in a mausoleum
-- Freeze Me next to Joe Dimaggio

A fun time will be had by some, perhaps many. Tuning optional.

/the flaw

The unofficial Wisteria Festival FAQ

The annual Wisteria Festival in Sierra Madre is upon us, Sunday, March 14, and Murphy's Flaw is once again providing some of the entertainment.

You can get official information on this year's festival at this location.

For unofficial information, read these Frequently Asked Questions:

This is the second year Murphy's Flaw has been invited to play at the Wisteria Festival. Why?
Somebody wasn't paying attention.

But for crying out loud, they must have heard you last year.
Some say we have grown in musical scope and nuance as well as in numbers.

Who says that?
Our mommy. She's very proud.

Well, when will you be performing?
We don't know. They won't tell us.

Do you at least know where you'll be performing?
They won't tell us that, either.

What kinds of songs may we expect to hear from the Flaw this year?
Some songs about what happened when we woke up this morning. Also, some agricultural songs about leaving plows in the field. There could be songs about our old home place on a mountain among the pines. Ooooo-ooooooo, Oooo-ooooooo, Ooooooooooo. Oo.

What was that?
That was the lonesome wind whistling through the pines near our old home place on the mountain.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Murphy's Flaw does not think it likes your tone.

Look, you're at the Wisteria Festival. Can't you sing something about the Wisteria?
As it happens, we have located this old manuscript and may or may not perform it.

Oh Wisteria

I am bound for the mountains of Wisteria,
I am told that it's the very last fronteria
Oh babe, I hate to leave,
But the badgers and the beav-
-ers call me now to fetch my pack and other gearia.

Oh, Wisteria,
Oh, Wisteria,
How I wish my credit cards weren't in arrearia.
I could stay a few more days
And revel in your mayonnaise
And more condiments inside your cafeteria.

I was raised in mansions decked with chandelieria
But I confess sometimes I shed a private tearia.
For I'm enraptured by your vine,
And I'm certain nothing fine-
-r could exist outside of petri-dish bacteria.

Oh Wisteria,
Oh Wisteria
I will wear my finest suit of sucker-seeria
I will climb aboard your bus
And join in the general fuss
That envelops us in festival hysteria.

Irrational Exuberance

We've recently learned that our upcoming gig on Sunday, Jan. 24, is piling up reservations faster than warts on a teen-age toad, and the Flaw feels the need to make these clarifications:

1. This is the Flaw we're talking about here. We had a rehearsal last night and we think we know a couple of songs all the way through. The rest will be, well, Flawed.
2. Luckily, the incredible Tim May will be there as our special guest, trying his best to save our bacon. That'll be worth $15 right there.
3. If all else fails, Coffee Gallery, at 2029 N. Lake St., in Altadena, has some great coffee and pies.
4. Water may be falling from the sky. Be not afraid.
5. There are no advance ticket sales. If the room's limit is reached, the reservations will go on a waiting list.

If after all this you insist, here's the reservations number:

Reservations/Information: (626) 398-7917.


Harried baristas are not standing by, but will pick up the phone and write your name down on the list.

If you're on the fence about attending the concert, we completely understand and have asked other musicians and luminaries about the Flaw.

This is what they say:

-------------------------------------------------------
"I know I've done wrong"
-- anonymous cowpoke

"Towards the bad, I kept on turning."
--Merle Haggard

"Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest,
But they should never have taken the very best. "
--The Band

"The troubles are many and the pleasures are few"
-- Merle Travis

"A hefty hunk of steaming junk"
-- James Taylor

"It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop"
--Amie Mann

"You spend your life just thinkin' of how to get away"
--Darrell Scott

"Time keeps draggin' on"
-- Johnny Cash
"I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes. You'd know what a drag it is to see you."
-- Bob Dylan
“There's pins and needles in my heart.”
-- Hank Locklin

Holiday Methane from The Faw

First of all, we are NOT going to celebrate Chanukah by setting fire to a banjo every night for eight nights. We don't know where you heard that.

Music:
1. The Hallelujah Chorus

2. Merry Christmas From the Family by Robert Earl Keene

Murphy's Flaw Custom ringtones for your cell phone:
Murphy's Flaw Ringtone #1
Murphy's Flaw Ringtone #2
Murphy's Flaw Ringtone #3

Have a happy, and don't forget the BIG SHOW with our special guest Tim May on Sunday, Jan. 24, 2010! The fun begins at 7 p.m., Coffee Gallery Backstage, Altadena.

See you in 2010!

The Flaw

Seasons Greetings, Have a Calendar

Dear Patrons of the Arts:

As you know, we are a giving band -- that's just how we roll. So this year, we're putting out our first Murphy's Flaw calendar for 2009. Use it in good health.

(Actually, we really don't care about your health, but if you're going to croak you could provide for a bequest to our tip jar.)

[We're sorry, we didn't mean to type that out loud.]

So: Why not a 2010 calendar, you ask? Because it's not 2010 yet. Duh.

But, speaking of the new year, here's something you'll want to plan on attending:

Sunday, Jan. 24, 2010, 8 p.m.:

Murphy's Flaw with Special Guest Tim May at (wait for it.....)

The Coffee Gallery Backstage in Altadena!

Yes, the Flaw finally invades the Coffee Gallery Backstage -- didn't realize the recession had gotten that bad, did you?

Times are tough, yet the Flaw promises a cosmic evening of entertainment mostly because of the presence of Mr. May, an amazing musician we've lured out from the confines of Nashville for the weekend.

You can read about Tim May here. Prepare to be shocked and awed -- this guy can flat-out pick.

Tickets are $15 and you should budget another $200 or so for CDs, coffee, pie, etc.

So circle the date on your calendar or, as the Flaw likes to say, write it on a scrap of paper and staple it to someone you love.

More news as it happens, or as we remember it.

Happy Holidays,
Murphy's Flaw

Thanksgiving Day Leftovers Recipe

During these last-minute, frenetic days of not practicing for the big gig Saturday at Vincenzo's Pizza in Chatsworth, we thought we'd take a breather and offer you some ways to get creative with all those Thanksgiving day leftovers.*

The Flaw is indebted to Chef Francois Alles-Zirconia of the prestigious nausées Académie de la cuisine in Paris who came up with this quick recipe for braised turkey almondine gumbo:

* salt
* 1 lb fresh lard, trimmed and cut into 2-inch lengths
* 1 cup artificial sweetener
* 8 oz bacon, finely diced
* 2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
* 2 tbsp chopped turkey skin
* 3 cups grenedine syrup
* 1 cup stuffing
* water to taste
* 3 lbs lemon zest
* 4 vanilla beans (or substitute with a large can of pork and beans)
* Artificial whipped topping -- just a dab'll do ya.

Combine ingredients in blender on high for three minutes. Pour into lightly floured plastic container and place in 375-degree oven for 12 hours.

Don't skimp on the time -- it's the slow cooking that brings together the flavors of the turkey skin, grenedine and plastic.

While all that's in the oven, you may as well take in the Flaw's performance at Vincenzo's Pizza in Chatsworth on Saturday night:

Where: Didn't we just tell you it's Vincenzo's Pizza in Chatsworth? Focus, people!
Address: 10364 Mason Ave, Chatsworth, CA 91311-3305
When: 7 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 28, 2009
Cost: Nothing up-front, but the tip jar is ever-present

See you then,

The Flaw





*As we mourn the senseless deaths of hundreds of thousands of young cucumbers, pulled from the vine while yet babies and mashed into jars to sate our insane desire for sweet gherkins. We will never forget.

Thick Crust

Dear Patrons of the Arts,

Many of you have asked* what Murphy's Flaw 2.0 has been up to for the past month since our international debut at October's Tierra del Sol Harvest Festival in Sunland.

"International?" we hear you exclaim, "Don't you mean 'irrational?'"

Indeed, no: guitarist Mike Gurzi found a link to this YouTube Clip on a site in Britain.

The great Flawed master plan is coming together nicely. Local exposure --> international exposure--> remastered box set of the entire Flaw recording catalog, available both in stereo and mono** just in time for Christmas at only $250.

The only detail yet to be worked out: No recordings. We're working on that. There's no limit to the length the Flaw will go to in order to provide you, the loyal fan base, with a CD -- Short of actually spending money to go into a recording studio and do it right. The flowchart looks like this:

No Talent -->No Gigs-->No Money-->No CD.

We should be a case study at Harvard Business School.

Despite that, sporadic attempts are being made. John came up with the idea of using last week's rehearsal tapes for a CD, because the rehearsal turned out really, really well.

This was shouted down by the band which pointed out that a) John wears hearing aids and plays banjo and wouldn't know sonic quality if it smacked him in the face and b) the recording came out really, really well. The rehearsal itself was, well, a rehearsal.

Point taken.

And still we gig. Just as a shark must keep moving to stay alive, so must the Flaw, moving silently through the water, smelling blood, breaking smaller fish in two with our sharp, powerful metaphors.

We will be appearing this Saturday night, Nov. 28, at BASC Bluegrass Night at Vincenzo's Pizza, 10364 Mason Ave, Chatsworth, CA. The music, so to speak, starts at 7 p.m. Prior to that we'll be spending an hour trying to figure out how to arrange seven musicians, with instruments, mic stands and cables, all into the tiny Performance Corner at Vincenzo's.

An artist's conceptual sketch is attached.

The first set will be the Flaw's Greatest (International!) Hits, and in the second set various members of the audience will take to the stage to show us how the first set would have sounded if we'd only rehearsed. Throughout, the tip jar will be passed by Andie "the enforcer" Bryan. Give freely; she can smell fear.

A map to Vincenzo's in Chatsworth is here. Go for the cheesy pizza, stay for the cheesy music.

-- The Flaw


*actually, no one has asked. This is a cheap writer's device.
**not monophonic, mononucleosis. Don't lick the cd.

"Murphy's Flaw -- better than you'd think"

From the Flaw: Tales of the Undead Bluegrass Band

Dear patrons of the arts:

It's been a weird summer, we'll give you that.

First, the whole band was flown over to Switzerland to work on the Super Hadron Collider, which didn't go well. But they fixed it after we left.

Then we spent the first few weeks of August providing mood music to town hall audiences all over the country to kind of keep them entertained and smiling until the meetings started. (In our spare time, we helped with the proofreading on the protest signs)

Oh, what's the use? You were bound to find out anyway.....

The Flaw broke up. The FLAW broke UP!!

Well, 3/5th of it, at any rate, leaving behind a dumbfounded bassist and perplexed banjo player.

Fiddler Edie Murphy decided to pursue solo projects, George Biner lives too far away from the practice site (at least during rush hour on the 405) and is up to his ears in other stuff including his own band, Pure Play. And Jarrett wanted to devote more time to his job (!!) and Simon Pure, a first-rate bluegrass band out of Agoura Hills, in which he plays Dobro. And this all happened in the space of, like, two weeks in August.

So now there were two....

Sure, we saw it coming and we tried to head it off -- we tried Band Therapy:

Therapist: How do you FEEL when they tell you the banjo isn't in tune?
John: The banjo IS in tune!
The band, screaming: See what we mean?
Therapist: Maybe it's best that you spend some time apart.

Shortly after that, we came home late one night and found all our banjos out on the lawn. We knew then that it was over. (And it's always the banjos that suffer in these things...)

And so we started living the empty life of a single picker. Wednesday nights, formerly the practice night, were long and cold, with no rehearsal coffee to warm us. We found ourselves driving by the old practice and gigging spots, then slowly driving home, silently weeping. We'd tell people the red eyes were from allergies. No one was fooled.

After a while, we were persuaded to join a single-musicians mixer at a local church. We went a few times, but -- frankly -- most of the other musicians played these. Small wonder...

We wrote a Craig's List ad looking for new musicians, and got some very interesting replies, suggesting that perhaps placing the ad in the "personal services" category was a mistake. We tried again under the "musicians" category and got better results.

A gigabyte of emails and several get-acquainted jams later, we were back in business -- Flaw 2.0 was born!

This truly Flawed concoction has grown from five to seven members, pretty much guaranteeing no stinkin' money for anybody.

The new roster:

• Bass: Paul Dorn, a holdover from Flaw 1.0, You know him, you love him....well, at least you know him.
• Banjo: The same old hack.
• Mando: Matt Witler, a high school senior and rather amazing player as long as his homework is done.
• Guitar: Mike Gurzi, lead guitar and vocals, an awesome player who's also aiming for an pickup-truck endurance record by driving between Chatsworth (new practice spot) and Long Beach (where he lives.)*
• Dobro: Uli Sinn. Uli is from Austria and does a wicked impression of Governor Schwartzenegger, as does everybody else from Austria.
• Mando and vocals: Dee Farnsworth. Another mando: Why not? A singer and harmonizer? Absolutely!
• Fiddle: Peter Blackwelder, a college student who's really a violinist, but we're trying to beat the music out of him and replace it with sweet, sweet bluegrass fiddling. Resistance is futile.

Well, we're going out on a limb here -- the old Flaw members used to go nuts when we'd make practice tapes public. But this band is coming together so well, we can't help crowing a little. Hear for yourself.

Sample1

Sample2

Can you see why we're so excited??

We know you'll want to come hear us live, and our first gig is for a great cause:

Tierra del Sol Harvest Festival:
9919 Sunland Blvd, Sunland, CA‎
10-3 p.m. Saturday Oct. 17, 2009.

We do this every year, but this year, with state finances in a train-wreck, the annual fundraiser takes on added importance.

So come on out, hear the new Flaw, and buy a pumpkin, some sculptures, knicknacks and doo-dads. Great barbecue lunch, by the way. Here's a map.

Later that night, John will be shuckin' the corn, at Dave and Deke's annual Hillbillyfest at Joe's Great American Bar and Grill. This one is so humiliating that only John will be allowed to participate.

Yours for greater acceptance of alternative banjo tunings,

Murphy's Flaw
-----------------------------------
Murphy's Flaw: "Expensive, Tasteless, Mediocre Bluegrass since 2005"

The Flaw at Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest & etc.

Sunday: Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest

It all happens again at 9 a.m. Sunday at the beautiful, sun-baked Paramount Ranch near Agoura Hills.

Gaggles of fresh-faced, inordinately talented kids will step to the microphone at the Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest, brows furrowed in concentration, giving the audience a jolt of raw musical talent and glimpses of the extraordinary musicians they may become.

We hate them.

We, by contrast, trudge to the stage, perform, slink back to our lawn chairs, knowing we'll get hammered in the results by some bands that feature Cute Kids.

They also tend to play better than we do. But that's not the point.

The point is there needs to be a Doddering Old Inept Bluegrass Band category, and you can't get into it until your acne has cleared up.*

Failing that, the Flaw is resigned to -- nay, embraces -- its probable third-place finish.

In fact, we're committed to extending our third-place streak by another year. We're going for the Guiness, folks!**

We're Contestant No. 39, so come and cheer or merely observe the wreckage, sigh, and move on. Full Topanga details are here.


*ingrown whiskers=no problem
**both the record book and the ale

Tuesday: Bluegrass Night at Braemar Country Club. The Recriminations Concert

Tuesday night the Flaw, still licking its wounds from Sunday, will be on stage at the Bluegrass Association of Southern California's Bluegrass Night at the Braemar Country Club. We'll probably be demoralized, which only adds to this incredible entertainment value.

Braemar will be the performance that we could have had at Topanga had if only we'd practiced, but hey -- maybe if we tape it and put it up on the website we still can get some mileage out of it.

(Past attempts at videotaping have included long periods of people standing in front of the camera so you see the little hairs on the back of their necks (we're talking men here, of course -- ha, ha!) accompanied by the soundtrack of bluegrass thrashing for which the Flaw has become so infamous.)

Full Braemar details are here

--
http://www.murphysflawband.com
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Murphys-Flaw/58844108000

Everybody's a music critic

We've not been shy about our grudging acceptance of a farting dog as the band mascot. The canine in question is Anna, a loveable chocolate lab who gets ultra-relaxed and falls asleep during our practices.

At this point the methane level in the room rises.

Usually we put this down as the price suffering artists must endure, but this time, we caught it on tape as the fumes spread through the band.

http://www.soundlantern.com/SoundPage.do?ToId=33075

From the Flaw: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Flaw will be appearing it's so late, I should have done this earlier...can't even see screen SUNDAY yeah, that's it...now which one...there are so many.....oh, the next one! January 18, 2009....is it 2009 already? Jeesh.....ahhh, where? I know we get on a freeway.....big art museum on the hill.....traffic jam...stupid Mercedes 2 miles per gallon cut me off........West L.A. Farmer's Market, They sell West L.A. farmers, no, there are no farmers in West L.A., I think it's veggies...veggies...no, ma, I DID eat my asparagus!....push it around plate better next time....must concentrate...where, where....hang a right off 405 then these little tents on the left selling swiss chard...swiss chard? you can't eat swiss chard...aw, MA! .. Swiss Mercedes drivers cutting me off.....focus, focus...address....11338 Santa Monica Boulevard at Corinth Ave on the Court House/Civic Center plaza, behind the Public Library. How'd I remember that? Oh.. website....when... daytime, for sure...it's like after Meet the Press is on... maybe football?... cheerleaders...their Swiss, Mercedes-driving boyfriends, too good for a banjo player ...what time ??? Noon to 2 p.m. Gas back up to $2 gallon can't afford banjo strings.... never in tune anyway......Tips Gratefully Accepted....

From the Flaw: Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, and "Whew! We may yet make it to the end of the year..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

See you in 2009!

John, George, Jarrett, Paul and Edie

John's First Banjo Teacher