Flying Under the Radar at the Wisteria Festival

We have now had a chance to check out Sunday's Wisteria Festival schedule which is here.

We are not on it.

Instead, there is another bluegrass band listed.

We realize this is confusing for our legions of lukewarm fans of mediocre bluegrass music, so we have put out a hit contract on the other band (which we admire greatly, but this is not personal) and with them out of the way will be playing:

3-5 p.m. Sunday Kirsten Square Stage. This is a triangular block at the corner of Sierra Madre Blvd. and N Baldwin Ave. in downtown Sierra Madre.

You will see the now-familiar Murphy's Flaw banner, the all-important tip jar. And you will hear, potentially, a lot of dead air because we don't think we have enough material to play from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

But we are ever-resourceful, so you may expect to hear:

* Nine Pound Hammer
-- Eight-Pound Hammer
-- Seven-Pound Hammer
-- Six-Pound Hammer
-- Five-Pound Hammer
-- Four-Pound Hammer

* Banks of the Ohio
-- Savings and Loans of Mississippi
-- Credit Unions of Kansas

* Bury Me Beneath the Willow
-- Encrypt Me in a mausoleum
-- Freeze Me next to Joe Dimaggio

A fun time will be had by some, perhaps many. Tuning optional.

/the flaw

The unofficial Wisteria Festival FAQ

The annual Wisteria Festival in Sierra Madre is upon us, Sunday, March 14, and Murphy's Flaw is once again providing some of the entertainment.

You can get official information on this year's festival at this location.

For unofficial information, read these Frequently Asked Questions:

This is the second year Murphy's Flaw has been invited to play at the Wisteria Festival. Why?
Somebody wasn't paying attention.

But for crying out loud, they must have heard you last year.
Some say we have grown in musical scope and nuance as well as in numbers.

Who says that?
Our mommy. She's very proud.

Well, when will you be performing?
We don't know. They won't tell us.

Do you at least know where you'll be performing?
They won't tell us that, either.

What kinds of songs may we expect to hear from the Flaw this year?
Some songs about what happened when we woke up this morning. Also, some agricultural songs about leaving plows in the field. There could be songs about our old home place on a mountain among the pines. Ooooo-ooooooo, Oooo-ooooooo, Ooooooooooo. Oo.

What was that?
That was the lonesome wind whistling through the pines near our old home place on the mountain.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Murphy's Flaw does not think it likes your tone.

Look, you're at the Wisteria Festival. Can't you sing something about the Wisteria?
As it happens, we have located this old manuscript and may or may not perform it.

Oh Wisteria

I am bound for the mountains of Wisteria,
I am told that it's the very last fronteria
Oh babe, I hate to leave,
But the badgers and the beav-
-ers call me now to fetch my pack and other gearia.

Oh, Wisteria,
Oh, Wisteria,
How I wish my credit cards weren't in arrearia.
I could stay a few more days
And revel in your mayonnaise
And more condiments inside your cafeteria.

I was raised in mansions decked with chandelieria
But I confess sometimes I shed a private tearia.
For I'm enraptured by your vine,
And I'm certain nothing fine-
-r could exist outside of petri-dish bacteria.

Oh Wisteria,
Oh Wisteria
I will wear my finest suit of sucker-seeria
I will climb aboard your bus
And join in the general fuss
That envelops us in festival hysteria.