Good Riddance from the Flaw: Matt Witler farewell concert -- Coffee Gallery Backstage Tuesday

Dear Patrons of the Arts:

You won't want to miss this one.

We're sending mando whiz Matt Witler off to the wilds of Boston, Mass., to serve a four-year sentence at the Berklee School of Music, where we hope he'll develop a little respect for the five-string banjo.

For the occasion,  Matt's gathered some all-star pickers: Mando master Evan Marshall, plus Matt's buddies Patrick Gunning and Scott Gates. Other special guests are likely to stop by and lend their voices and instruments to the Witlerian cause, and the Flaw will end the night with a parade of their biggest YouTube hits.

The whole evening kicks off at 8 p.m. Tuesday Aug. 17 at Coffee Gallery Backstage, 2029 N. Lake Ave., Altadena. Be sure to call them at (626) 794-2424 to get on the reservation list. It's going to be an outstanding night for roots music lovers!

Just think -- you can say to your grandchildren that you were there the night Matt Witler went off to college. $15 at the door for bragging rights like that -- well, it's a bargain, pure and simple....and a little piece of musical history.

8 p.m. Tuesday Aug. 17, 2010

Coffee Gallery Backstage

2029 N. Lake St.

Altadena, CA 91001

$15 • Call for reservations: (626) 794-2424

Coffee and snacks will be available in the front in exchange for federal reserve notes.

It's a GIRL, again! Plus gigs at ARC and Pickin' Parlor

Dear Patrons of the Arts:

Our Latest Victim....Vicki Hill

We've been so busy of late we might as well have been practicing. (We weren't, of course.)

Instead, we've been using our time more productively, finding a replacement for mandolin whiz Matt Witler, who's off to college in a matter of months.

If he'd had any regard for the band, he could have just gone to Cal State Northridge as a townie and kept performing with us, as his grade-point average gently drifted down into Academic Probation territory -- a locale which has, over the years, produced an astounding number of bluegrass musicians.

But no, Matt has decided to make something of himself. He's going to Boston, to Berklee School of Music

Where they READ music! Like, right off the paper.

Please, PLEASE stay seated, people; there's nothing to be done about it now. It is what it is; life is about choices.

We're lucky we had Matt long enough to hopefully make him Flawed. It was our task to give the lad the musical equivalent of athlete's foot. You can still function, but you have that burning, itching sensation.

We think -- we hope -- we succeeded.

Matt's departure will leave a sizable hole in our little Flawed band, taking us down to just SIX people, and only one mandolin instead of the usual two.

But we have come across a remarkably Flawed solution: Instead of getting another mandolin player, we picked up a second guitar player who also dabbles in banjo.

We're proud to announce the descent into Murphy's Flaw Purgatory of Vicki Hill, a wonderful singer who is still apparently in shock because she's had four rehearsals and one gig and hasn't quit yet.

Before she comes to her senses, we plan two quick performances to wear her down:

Today, Saturday July 17, at the Midsummer Nights Coffee House at ARC. This is always a hoot -- professional stage, incredible talent and, to cleanse the musical palate, The Flaw about 8 p.m. A $20 donation includes dinner, and an open cash bar, which you'll want to visit both before and after our set. The cause is great and as always in these times, so is the need. We hope to see you there.

Then in two weeks, on Saturday July 31, the triumphant return of the Flaw to Blue Ridge Pickin' Parlor in Granada Hills, complete with the traditional (by now) cobbler between sets. You can find the details here. This one, a massive theatrical effort, is also $20, but hey, there's cobbler.

Best regards,

Murphy's Flaw

"If it's within one fret of the proper note, it's good enough"

Murphys Flaw NOT Playing at Sobriety Checkpoint

Saturday July 10, 2010 2:44 PM PDT
Sobriety Checkpoint
WHAT: Sobriety Checkpoint
WHEN: Sunday, July 11, 2010

5 p.m. to 1 a.m.



WHERE: Manchester Boulevard between Hoover Street and Figueroa Street, which is located within the LAPD’s Southeast Division.

Tonight -- Viva Cantina -- Murphy's Flaw -- No audience -- Be part of it!

Murphy's Flaw

is pleased to present

An evening with nobody in particular

Singing

Songs We've Never Rehearsed

Played in

Keys We Seldom Use

On

Instruments that are Probably Not in Tune

in a 

Nearly-Empty Mexican Restaurant

(7:30 p.m. Tonight, Viva Cantina, 900 Riverside Blvd., Burbank CA)

Appearing (in order of finding a parking spot)

Dee Farnsworth (mando/vocals)

John Bryan (banjo/guitar/vocals)

Pete Blackwelder (fiddle)

Shaun Garrity (mando, mandola, guitar)

Paul Dorn (bass/vocals)

Jarrett Lesko (mando/guitar/vocals)

Uli Sinn (Dobro/SuperSlider)

Margee Schubert

Cody Bryant

JoEllen Doering

Earl Scruggs

Bela Fleck

Tommy Emmanuel

David Grisman

Tony Rice

Sam Bush

Emmylou Harris

The Infamous Stringdusters

Ernst and Young

Frick and Frack

Smart and Final

The Punch Brothers featuring Chris Thile

The Board of British Petroleum featuring Tony Hayward

The non-singing waiters of Viva Cantina

Col. Sanders and "The Chicken-Pluckers"

Gov. Mark Sanford and "The Appalachan Trail"

Be there - take up space - order Margaritas - leave us tips!

We Don't Need no Stinkin' Audience!

First of all, Murphys Flaw,* constantly trying to better its string of third-place finishes at Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest, was overly exuberant and mistakenly snagged SECOND PLACE this year.

A tragic first-place finish was averted at the last minute by the insanely talented kids of the Murphy Family Band. We thank them for their valor.

Now that the crowds are gone and the TV trucks have packed up and headed to their next assignments, it's back down to earth for the Flaw, and with it the monthly Flaw gigs at Viva Cantina next to the horse stables at the edge of Burbank. We think we got the gig because we add so much to the, uh, atmosphere.

Next one is Monday, June 10, 2010. From, oh, 7:30-ish until we run out of material; in other words, 7:45 p.m.

A couple of members had the good sense to be out of town, so we invited all our friends to stage an impromptu on-stage jam at Viva Cantina. Some of them may actually show up, pushing the performance all the way to 8 p.m.

Admission is free, but tips will be collected. If that doesn't keep the attendance down, we don't know what will.

The Flaw

*(official motto: "it sounded better at rehearsal")

(unofficial motto: "We had a rehearsal?")

Murphy's Flaw is comfortable playing to empty rooms.

Important Career Advice

Just a Short Note....

What? 

The Flaw doesn't write no stinkin' short notes. Short notes are for refrigerator magnets

Here, chew on this:

http://www.johnbullard.com/graphics/vintageguitar2005.pdf

Oh, you want some Wikipedia, do you?

Had enough? All right.

==========================

Here's the news:

The Flaw will accidently appear at Viva Fresh, Burbank,

at 8 p.m.tonight, Monday May 10, to provide Kentucky-Mex Bluegrass background music while you knock down those incredible $2.50 margaritas.

Before Margaritas

After about the fourth margarita, the magic sets in, and the Flaw a) looks MARVELOUS and b) becomes the best-sounding bluegrass band you've ever heard. In or out of Nashville. We've included some visual aids, below

No admission, tips gratefully accepted (we're not afraid to beg).

Then the 2010 Victory Tour continues on Sunday, May 16 when the Flaw competes at the 50th Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest at Paramount Ranch just a short cattle-drive from Agoura Hills.

We'll be on around the lunch break. So you can pack in a nutritious lunch of Kettle-Korn and settle in for Contestant No. 57, which is us.

Let's all say it together: C O N T E S T A N T  5 7.

Excellent. There will be no margaritas at Topanga, so you'd better stock up tonight at Viva Fresh.

After Margaritas

The Flaw

Murphy's Flaw Infomercial for Coffee Gallery Backstage

Are you fed up with Pop-Country music??

Are you disappointed with properly tuned banjos?

Would you like to get a caffeine high and higher decibel level?

Hello. My name's Bluegrass Bill. I'm vice-president of sales for Murphy's Flaw.

If you're looking for off-the-wall bluegrass music then listen very carefully because I'm going to
reveal the secrets of Flawed Bluegrass Listening.

Let's talk about the benefits of Murphy's Flaw ...

• It's non-toxic to pet rocks;
• It's what makes silence golden;
• It shrinks goiters instantly.
                          
Here's what one of our listeners said in a recent e-mail to us:

"How do you people stand yourselves?"

And here's what another one of our listeners said:

"Hearing the Flaw makes me cry like a little girl."

You too can abandon all class and go over to the Flawed Side!

Go ahead. If you want to eliminate musical taste, and enjoy the benefits of cacophony,  dizziness,  and  goiter
reduction, then make sure you reserve your ticket within the next 10 minutes.

Murphy's Flaw at Coffee Gallery Backstage

• • • with roots-music trio The Absentees • • •

2029 N. Lake Ave.
Altadena, CA 91001


Sunday, May 2, 2010, at 8 p.m.
$15 at the door. To go through the door may be extra; see Bob.
Reservations suggested: Call (626) 794-2424


Murphy's Flaw: "Gee, Your Banjo Smells Terrific!"

(Thanks to the Infomercial Script Generator)

Sharing the Stage at the Festival of Books

Dear Patrons of the Arts,

The folks at the Los Angeles Times have inexplicably invited Murphy's Flaw to appear on the Festival of Books Etc. Stage for a fourth year.

We'll be on from 3 to 4 p.m. and at least 45 minutes of that will be spent tuning the banjo. But it's a solid entertainment value nonetheless, considering that it's free.

We jumped at this chance because 1) we don't get to hang with people who read books that often, being a Marvel Comics kind of band, and 2) it allows us to use one of the great chestnuts of showbiz hucksterism: "shared the stage with."

As in: "Murphy's Flaw recently appeared at the Los Angeles Times Festival of books where they shared the stage with the L.A. Opera."

And we will, you snobbish non-believers. L.A. Opera will be on at noon; we'll be on at 3 p.m. Same stage, though -- take that!

And it gets better: 

Murphy's Flaw is proud to be sharing the festival with Folk and Country Music Legends Peter Yarrow (Target Children's Stage, noon) and Trisha Yearwood (Cooking stage, 2 p.m.) We actually reached out to both, trying to get them to join the Flaw on the Etc. stage. No response. Curious....maybe the emails are slow. 

But the real outrage is this: Over at the Health and Wellness Stage is the Sun Protection Zone's Sun Safety Styles Fashion Show. They could have used some background music; all fashion shows need background music.

The Flaw, after all, was willing to share the stage.

---------------------

Next gigs:

• Sunday, April 25, 3-4 p.m.: Los Angeles Times Festival of Books Etc. Stage

• Sunday, May 2, 8 p.m., Coffee Gallery Backstage, Altadena ($15, reservations at (626) 794-2424)

• Monday, May 10, 7:30 p.m.: Viva Fresh Mexican Restaurant, 900 West Riverside Drive, Burbank.

• Sunday, May 16: 50th annual Topanga Banjo Fiddle Contest, Paramount Ranch, Agoura Hills.

April Foolishness at VivaFresh, Cafe 322, LATimes Fest of Books

So we were sitting around, trying to come up with a list of excuses not to practice.

We'd gotten up to No. 396 (Large Hadron Collider in operation in Switzerland, throws banjos out of tune worldwide), and when we weren't looking, our April calendar filled up with gigs.

"Tell us more," we hear you yearning....

Oh, all right...

• Monday, April 5, Viva Fresh, Burbank: The inaugural Bluegrass Monday at Viva Fresh Mexican Restaurant in Burbank, rumored to have the best fajitas in town. Bluegrass at a Mexican Restaurant? Of course, haven't you ever heard of Kentucky-Mex cuisine? There will be other bands each Monday of the month, and they no doubt will raise the standards  musically. The Flaw, on the other hand, will lower them precipitously every first Monday. It's kind of like a bluegrass roller coaster; you may want to raise both arms and yell, "Whee!"

• Wednesday, April 7, Cafe 322, Sierra Madre: Another inauguration, and we have nothing to wear: Cafe 322  will be the location for the first monthly "Who Left the Barn Door Open?" bluegrass night. The project is guided by Paul Dorn, bass player extraordinaire for about 30 bands on two continents (including Switzerland's "Large Hadron Collider Mountain Boys"). Italian food this time, splendidly prepared and purveyed. Unfortunately, the cuisine will have to contend with the Flawed atmosphere. But our band's attitude is if you don't have at least a few patrons running for the restrooms, you're not doing your job. Good bands always involve their audiences in the performance. Cafe 322

• Sunday, April 25, L.A. Times Festival of books, Westwood: Inexplicably, the Flaw has been invited back to the Etc. Stage at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. This must be the fifth year, and you'd think they'd learn by now. Nonetheless, we're on from 3-4 p.m. You'll not want to miss it because one of these years it will be the Flaw's Farewell Performance. You can find Festival of Books information here. Tickets are free and with the Flaw you always get your money's worth.

It gets even worse in May with a return to the Coffee Gallery Backstage at 8 p.m. Sunday, May 2. You've been warned; more about that later.

As always, you'll want to jot all these dates on a piece of paper and staple it to someone you love.

See you Monday, Wednesday or April 25, or all three if you want to earn your Flawed Groupie Merit Badge.

The Flaw

Flying Under the Radar at the Wisteria Festival

We have now had a chance to check out Sunday's Wisteria Festival schedule which is here.

We are not on it.

Instead, there is another bluegrass band listed.

We realize this is confusing for our legions of lukewarm fans of mediocre bluegrass music, so we have put out a hit contract on the other band (which we admire greatly, but this is not personal) and with them out of the way will be playing:

3-5 p.m. Sunday Kirsten Square Stage. This is a triangular block at the corner of Sierra Madre Blvd. and N Baldwin Ave. in downtown Sierra Madre.

You will see the now-familiar Murphy's Flaw banner, the all-important tip jar. And you will hear, potentially, a lot of dead air because we don't think we have enough material to play from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

But we are ever-resourceful, so you may expect to hear:

* Nine Pound Hammer
-- Eight-Pound Hammer
-- Seven-Pound Hammer
-- Six-Pound Hammer
-- Five-Pound Hammer
-- Four-Pound Hammer

* Banks of the Ohio
-- Savings and Loans of Mississippi
-- Credit Unions of Kansas

* Bury Me Beneath the Willow
-- Encrypt Me in a mausoleum
-- Freeze Me next to Joe Dimaggio

A fun time will be had by some, perhaps many. Tuning optional.

/the flaw

The unofficial Wisteria Festival FAQ

The annual Wisteria Festival in Sierra Madre is upon us, Sunday, March 14, and Murphy's Flaw is once again providing some of the entertainment.

You can get official information on this year's festival at this location.

For unofficial information, read these Frequently Asked Questions:

This is the second year Murphy's Flaw has been invited to play at the Wisteria Festival. Why?
Somebody wasn't paying attention.

But for crying out loud, they must have heard you last year.
Some say we have grown in musical scope and nuance as well as in numbers.

Who says that?
Our mommy. She's very proud.

Well, when will you be performing?
We don't know. They won't tell us.

Do you at least know where you'll be performing?
They won't tell us that, either.

What kinds of songs may we expect to hear from the Flaw this year?
Some songs about what happened when we woke up this morning. Also, some agricultural songs about leaving plows in the field. There could be songs about our old home place on a mountain among the pines. Ooooo-ooooooo, Oooo-ooooooo, Ooooooooooo. Oo.

What was that?
That was the lonesome wind whistling through the pines near our old home place on the mountain.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Murphy's Flaw does not think it likes your tone.

Look, you're at the Wisteria Festival. Can't you sing something about the Wisteria?
As it happens, we have located this old manuscript and may or may not perform it.

Oh Wisteria

I am bound for the mountains of Wisteria,
I am told that it's the very last fronteria
Oh babe, I hate to leave,
But the badgers and the beav-
-ers call me now to fetch my pack and other gearia.

Oh, Wisteria,
Oh, Wisteria,
How I wish my credit cards weren't in arrearia.
I could stay a few more days
And revel in your mayonnaise
And more condiments inside your cafeteria.

I was raised in mansions decked with chandelieria
But I confess sometimes I shed a private tearia.
For I'm enraptured by your vine,
And I'm certain nothing fine-
-r could exist outside of petri-dish bacteria.

Oh Wisteria,
Oh Wisteria
I will wear my finest suit of sucker-seeria
I will climb aboard your bus
And join in the general fuss
That envelops us in festival hysteria.

Irrational Exuberance

We've recently learned that our upcoming gig on Sunday, Jan. 24, is piling up reservations faster than warts on a teen-age toad, and the Flaw feels the need to make these clarifications:

1. This is the Flaw we're talking about here. We had a rehearsal last night and we think we know a couple of songs all the way through. The rest will be, well, Flawed.
2. Luckily, the incredible Tim May will be there as our special guest, trying his best to save our bacon. That'll be worth $15 right there.
3. If all else fails, Coffee Gallery, at 2029 N. Lake St., in Altadena, has some great coffee and pies.
4. Water may be falling from the sky. Be not afraid.
5. There are no advance ticket sales. If the room's limit is reached, the reservations will go on a waiting list.

If after all this you insist, here's the reservations number:

Reservations/Information: (626) 398-7917.


Harried baristas are not standing by, but will pick up the phone and write your name down on the list.

If you're on the fence about attending the concert, we completely understand and have asked other musicians and luminaries about the Flaw.

This is what they say:

-------------------------------------------------------
"I know I've done wrong"
-- anonymous cowpoke

"Towards the bad, I kept on turning."
--Merle Haggard

"Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest,
But they should never have taken the very best. "
--The Band

"The troubles are many and the pleasures are few"
-- Merle Travis

"A hefty hunk of steaming junk"
-- James Taylor

"It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop"
--Amie Mann

"You spend your life just thinkin' of how to get away"
--Darrell Scott

"Time keeps draggin' on"
-- Johnny Cash
"I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes. You'd know what a drag it is to see you."
-- Bob Dylan
“There's pins and needles in my heart.”
-- Hank Locklin